Goodbye

Almost Lover...

Well he wasn't my "almost" lover but my husband....

This song is something I literally listened to for months during and after the divorce.

It played on my play list this morning and describes every emotion from that experience.

I remember standing there one night as he gave me a "final" hug knowing that it was over.. even though we both said we were going to work it out.

Then we both just gave up.

I felt betrayed.. left there to stand alone. FOREVER

Some days I still feel that way, its slowly getting better.

The part of this song that always hits me is when she is talking about how she can't seem to move on but that the almost lover is doing just fine.

Why is it that I have had to struggle spiritually, financially, emotionally, etc. While he was doing just fine and getting ready to be re-married.

Some days I just want to turn back time and do EVERYTHING possible to save that marriage.

Then I remember.

The lord sometimes lets good things fall apart and better ones to come into place.

One day I will love again, more deep, more pure, and better than ever.

One day I will trust fully again,

And one day I will have that eternal marriage and eternal family that is so important to me no matter how far out of reach it seems to be at this present moment.

Sorry for the "downer" post... I will post some more positive songs from here on out.

"Who Says"

This should come as no surprise that I chose this song for the first posting on here. I am OBSESSED with this song lately. The other night I had told a good friend of mine about a certain insecurity I have always been a little bit bigger than most girls. It never use to bother me until I was married and especially in the last year after my divorce. Its become a constant internal struggle for me. Even when I was younger my grandma use to call me fat. However it didn't bother me until I had a husband who was obsessed about my weight more so than I was. Then in favor married someone much bigger than I ever was. The truth is yes, I want to loose weight. But I am perfectly happy with my body now. This song is exactly what I would like to say to all those negative comments about my weight all my life. I am just Beautiful Me!

A Fresh Start

How can I keep from singing? My favorite song at the moment. Through everything I have ever gone through music is what has pulled me through. Don't worry I will be sharing a few of those favorite tunes, from the sad, the happy, and the down right crazy!


Well here goes nothing I guess. I'm starting over, starting fresh (on the blog that is). I had been thinking about doing this for awhile now.


Do ever feel like those trials in life seem to come at the most unreasonable times? Sometimes you feel like you have been hit like a train, swallowed up by a tornado, etc. or all at once?


Well that is how my life has been all along... and I am sure I am not the only one.

This is going to be my search for happiness. Not just happiness, but TRUE happiness. Based upon great relationships, friendships, and of course the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

More post to come in the future I just wanted to get this started. So all of you that followed in the past I hope you keep following, and that I keep writing and of course keep singing :)